10 Unusal Things WE DID NOT Do For Our Wedding (and Why)

With the wedding season being kicked off in full swing, it got me thinking about my own wedding which took place last fall. When I got engaged, I was absolutely elated to start wedding planning, but once I got into it, I quickly became overwhelmed. It seemed like there were so many things I had to figure out. I learned a lot about what weddings typically looked like (I had only been to a few in my childhood) and was straining myself to try to match these expectations. It seemed that everyone had their opinions about what the big day should look like—what kind of food we should serve, what traditions to uphold, how to decorate. The truth was, I was not being true to what my husband and I wanted. Instead of trying to please the two of us, I was trying too hard to please others. Once I took a second to calm down and realize that this was my husband and I’s big day and we had the right to make it however we wanted, I instantly felt a weight lift off of my shoulders and was able to have a lot more fun with the planning.

For those ladies out there, who may be finding themselves in a similar situation, I wanted to share 10 things my husband and I decided NOT to do for our wedding that may be considered unusual or untraditional. This list is strictly based on my husband and I’s personal opinions and what we wanted specifically for our big day. Absolutely no shame to any lovely couple who integrated any of these ideas into their own wedding!💞

1. No DJ or dancing

Don’t get me wrong—my husband and I enjoy dancing! We would not have been totally against having dancing at our wedding, but our venue was at a church and they tend to have strict rules against it. We also were not crazy about the idea of breaking a sweat in our wedding attire, especially me who had my hair and makeup professionally done (and was wearing a ballgown). Even if we did decide to go through with the dancing, we simply would not have had enough room! For music, I just created a playlist on Spotify and we played the music through speakers we had rented from the church and it did the job!

2. No alcohol

The first reason we decided to forfeit alcohol from our wedding was because our venue prohibited it. The other reason was that my husband and I do not drink and it did not make sense for us to spend a bunch of money on beverages that we would not enjoy. It just wasn’t something we wanted to incorporate into our day, but we made up for it by having lots of other options!

3. No bouquet toss

I think this is the cutest tradition, but to be honest, I really wanted to keep my bouquet to myself! It symbolizes the most important day of my life with my husband and I wanted to keep it as a memory of the day. Plus, the last thing my husband and I wanted to cause was a commotion!😅

4. No assigned seating

We simply did not see a need to decide where everybody sat. We wanted people to feel welcome to sit wherever they wanted with whoever they wanted. Our usher helped guests find seating and made sure that everybody found a spot they were comfortable with. We saved one table for our family, but otherwise, guests had free reign on where they wanted to go!

5. No videographer

For our wedding, we did not feel that a videographer was necessary. We had someone film our ceremony on a camera, but we were not interested in having anything professional done. We felt that we would rather watch a raw and uncut version of our wedding day than a highly edited version. I have absolutely nothing against people hiring videographers for their wedding day, but for us, we preferred sticking to professional pictures only.

6. No getting ready photos or excessive detail shots

My husband and I decided that we wanted our time getting ready to be a private moment with our friends and family. While it would have been fun to get some pictures of us preparing for the big day, it would have been an added layer of stress for the both of us and would have taken away from our excitement. We also did not want many detail shots as we did not feel that we would need those photos. As stunning as they can be, we wanted the focus to be on the even itself. I have found other ways to preserve the details from our wedding day which feel even more special and personal to the two of us.

7. No wedding planner

Besides the fact that a wedding planner was not in our budget, we wanted to have as much control over the planning as possible. While we would have appreciated the extra help (especially considering how busy our lives were) we were happy to take on the planning ourselves to ensure that everything turned out just the way we wanted.

8. No required speeches

As someone who HATES public speaking, I did not want to put that pressure on our wedding party. They had already done enough by taking the time out of their busy lives to support us. The only speech we had planned was my dad’s, which was quite special. One of my husband’s friends who was not in the wedding party decided to give a speech out of the kindness of his heart which touched every person at our wedding.

9. No joined table with wedding party

As much as we love those that we selected for our wedding party, we wanted to make sure that we could focus on each other. With all of the chaos going on around us, we wanted to make sure that we could enjoy each other’s company and take in the fact that we were husband and wife together. It made the day more peaceful and helped keep us united.

10. No father-daughter or mother-son dance

Simply put, these dances were not that important to our respective parents, and they were not that important to us. We wanted to incorporate our parents in other ways that was a lot more meaningful for all of us. Plus, we tend to be a little shy, so we preferred to have as little attention on us as possible!

Weddings are incredibly personal and are meant to be a reflection of your personal relationship with your husband. Although it’s easy to cater to the general crowd, you will regret not being authentic to yourself in the future. As someone who chose to plan a wedding exactly the way my husband and I wanted it, I have no regrets and am incredibly happy that we decided to stay true to our own desires.

I have plenty more to share about what we did not do at our wedding and I would love to make this a small series! Let me know what you decided not to do at your wedding and why you made that decision! Thank you for reading, and remember to stay classy!

Thank you for reading!

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”-Genesis 2:24

Love,

Brouke