How to Handle Rejection With Elegance

We’ve all been there—someone we thought we were getting along with suddenly dismisses us out of nowhere, or the job we so desperately wanted sends us a two-sentence rejection email, Rejection certainly hurts no matter how big or small. There is nothing wrong with processing our hurt feelings. After all, the feeling of rejection is often more memorable than physical pain.¹ What truly matters is how we respond to rejection as dignified women of Christ.

When rejection occurs, anger may be our first reaction. I know that whenever I experience rejection, I instantly start to get upset. I start to wonder what kind of nerve a person has that they would reject me. After all, I didn’t do anything wrong, right? Perhaps it’s not about what we did or didn’t do, but another factor that has nothing to do with us. The greatest thing that we can do in order to combat feelings of anger is to be open to the idea that our rejection may have nothing to do with us at all. Maybe your friend cancelled plans last minute because she was tired. Or maybe you didn’t get accepted into your dream school because there were no spots left. When we have the ability to view a situation from a broader perspective, we can learn how to control our anger and accept our situation without feeling defensive about it.

Oftentimes after I experience rejection, I get burdened with a big wave of sadness. It can be hard for me to get through my day with any sort of confidence because of how dismissed and worthless I feel. One way that I have helped myself through the “depression phase” of rejection is by doing something that I love and that I feel I am good at. For me, that is writing, photography, putting together a fun outfit, or anything else that instantly boosts my confidence. Instead of letting rejection feed into our insecurity, we can shut it down by focusing on our lives and the things that bring us joy. Taking care of ourselves and not letting ourselves fall into a spiral of self-pity and low confidence is undoubtedly classy.

The main way we can control how we respond to feeling rejected is through our response to the source of our rejection. Rejection can bring out a lot of bitter feelings that may lead us into doing things that we would typically steer away from. Rejection can strip us of our pride and feeling of stability which may cause us to react harshly. Do elegant women lash out in anger when they get rejected? No—they remain calm and communicate their feelings eloquently. Do elegant women resort to holding grudges when they feel dismissed? Absolutely not—they confront their emotions directly and forgive the source of rejection.

As we all know, it is easier said than done to react to rejection in an elegant manner. When our feelings get hurt, it seems like we lose all sense of control over ourselves and our reactions. Obviously, that’s normal! There is a reason we should rely on God in all circumstances—because we cannot live holy, upright lives alone. Our flesh is weak, but the Lord is our strength. How can we handle ourselves righteously without God? The truth is, we need God in order to get through feelings of rejection. Our sinful flesh is inclined to seek revenge, create drama, blame others, but with God, we can learn how to accept our rejection, wish those who reject us the best, and carry on with our lives without weighting ourselves down. With God, we are able to handle rejection of any kind with class.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”-2 Corinthians 12:9

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. As someone who used to take rejection really hard (and sometimes still does), I pray that all of you will seek God the next time you feel hurt by rejection. He cares about every aspect of your life—even the seemingly unimportant ones! I am praying each and every one of you—and don’t forget—stay classy!

Love,

Brouke