Who I Am & My Testimony

Hello Ladies!

Thank you for stopping by this little haven on the internet! I would love to share a little more about myself and my history with following Christ—a journey both challenging and amazing.

I grew up in a typical Christian household where we all went to Church as a family, prayed around the dinner table, and memorized Bible verses regularly. I asked the Lord into my heart at seven years old, which I have no memory of. Going to Church was something I enjoyed doing, especially when it came to attending Awana during the school months and Vacation Bible School in the summer. Truthfully, I never thought too deeply about my relationship with God. Of course, I knew that I loved Jesus and tried my best to cultivate a relationship with Him in my everyday life, but I never truly felt His presence. I so desperately wanted to hear His voice and feel Him surrounding me, but I always felt like I was talking to a void space in the sky. Clearly, I knew that God was real, but I wanted to feel it.

When I started going to public school in 8th grade (I was homeschooled for most of my childhood) I was struck with the realization that a lot of people were completely lost and empty. I was shocked when I came out of my sheltered world to see other kids partaking in bad habits at such a young age. As a result, I felt like I had no one to talk to. I felt that I could not relate to anyone around me and started grasping my faith in Christ a little tighter. Eventually, I found some good friends that I could connect with and with whom I shared similar values. My small pack of friends and I stuck closely together as we helped one another get through the stressful years of middle school and high school. I was so blessed to find my friends when I did. We would spend a lot of time with one another in and outside of school. For the first time in my life, I started to feel accepted and a little less like a loser with no friends. It was a rewarding feeling.

My first few years of high school were not always the greatest (e.g., bullies, hard classes, never-ending homework) but I truly had a lot of fun. I was enjoying most of my classes, making a lot of new connections, and accomplishing goals that I never thought I could. Everything in my life seemed to be going well until March of 2020 rolled around, COVID came into the picture and shook my world like nothing before. My dad got the sickness early on and got extremely ill because of it. I remember feeling confused, scared, hopeless, and rattled beyond belief. As the disease spread more and more, I had a hard time trusting God as I wondered why He would let this happen. Isn’t He supposed to protect us? Why would He let us down in this way? Doesn’t He love us? All of these questions infiltrated my mind while the world seemingly feel apart around me. The world was suddenly full of rage, violence, sickness, and grief, We were bound to our homes and not allowed to partake in the activities that used to fill our time and bring us joy. Life started to feel meaningless, and so did my faith.

Spending so much time at home allowed me to do a lot of reflecting on who God is and why He sent me on this earth. The more time I spent in His word or in prayer, the more connected I felt to Him. When I started to bring my fears and concerns to God instead of letting them spiral around in my mind, I started to feel inexplainable peace and undeniable comfort. I have never experienced peace quite like that before. That’s when I realized that I truly did feel God’s presence. This whole time, He was always by my side. In fact, He never left.

Holding on tightly to this newfound peace that God had given me, I decided to fully devote my life to Christ. Whatever I was lacking before, I wanted to make up for. While I knew I could never be the perfect Christian (obviously!), I wanted to be more like Jesus in my life. I decided to only listen to Christian music and to primarily consume Christian media during lent season. During this time, I made sure to read my Bible every day and to pray ceaselessly. I have never felt closer to God as I did during that time. Fully devoting myself to God allowed me to see how powerful and loving He truly is and how important it is that I fully surrender my life to Him.

When stores and restaurants started opening up again, I decided to get a job at a fast-food place. I was excited to start working and to hopefully make a difference in people’s lives by spreading the light of Christ. Unfortunately, I experienced abusive behavior from customers, coworkers, and management on a daily basis. I even had a customer try to physically hurt me. I got to see a closer look as to how broken this world truly was and it served as an encouragement to keep being kind to people even when they did not have my best interest at heart, because that is what Jesus did,

Around the same time, I had a male classmate stalk me in school, outside of school, and online. Being so broken down inside already, I had no idea how to handle this situation. Rather than standing up for myself and advocating for my safety, I allowed this behavior to continue. Eventually, my parents found out about my stalking and communicated the issue to my school and the teacher of the class I shared with this classmate. My school did its best to help the situation, but the stalking continued. When this classmate followed me around on a school trip and kept harassing me, my teacher called me into her office and told me that it was my fault that my classmate was behaving inappropriately towards me. Hearing this from a teacher I respected truly crushed my spirit and led me to a dark depression that lasted until I graduated high school.

When I graduated high school, I decided that enough was enough and I quit my toxic job after experiencing aggression from two of my managers who were trying to increase my availability. I was afraid to take this step because I felt stable in my position, but I felt strongly led to do so by my loved ones and by God. I worked a new job over the summer and noticed my spark starting to come back. I started being treated with respect and dignity. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel worthless.

I started attending college at my dream Christian school in the fall and made the big decision to live on campus. I was terrified to leave my family and live with roommates that I hardly knew, but I knew God was calling me to it. My first week of college was incredibly hard as I felt intense feelings of homesickness and felt terrified of the unknown and unfamiliar. I remember sitting in the chapel at my school that first night and telling God that I couldn’t go through with college and that I would have to drop out. I felt a strong urge to stay put despite my heart longing to go back home. After a lot of prayer and putting myself out there, I realized that I was exactly where I needed to be at that point in my life. Once classes started, I fell in love with my college and felt so grateful that God gave me the opportunity to go,

While I was in college, I received a Facebook message from an old friend that I used to go to church with. He asked me if I wanted to attend church with him in the morning. Unfortunately, I had work in the morning and was unable to go, but rather than declining his invitation, I told him that I would love to go the week after. I had no idea what to expect since I had not spoken to this person since I was a kid, but I didn’t expect too much out of it. I thought he was trying to get more people to come to his church.

When I arrived, I couldn’t find my old friend anywhere, so I sat in a pew in the middle of the room. I received a message from my old friend saying that he was in the front. I walked to the front of the room and did not see anyone that looked like him, so I took a seat at the very first pew. Suddenly, I turned around and saw a tall, handsome man walk towards where I was sitting. He greeted me and told me it was great to see me again, and the rest was history.

I married this old friend last October and I have never experienced so much joy in my life. God led the two of us back to each other after so many years. God was providing before me before I even knew it, and now I can’t help but wonder what else He has in store for me.

As of right now, I am a recent college grad trying to find myself after finishing school. I am at a scary, yet exciting place in my life that has led to so many new open doors and opportunities. Starting this blog was one of them and I am elated to share it with all of you!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read about my testimony. I hope you all know how truly loved you are by both God and me and you are always in my prayers.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”-Colossians 3:23-24

Love,

Brouke<3